Parents scold 22-year-old son for wanting to move to the city for his job instead of continuing to live at home: 'I just don’t want to be 25 and still living in my childhood bedroom.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 30, 2026 11:00 AM EST

They should be glad he wants to spread his wings.

Not all parents are excited about their kids growing up. In their ideal world, their adult children would live with them indefinitely, spending every evening at the family dinner table and every night sleeping in their childhood bedrooms. You would assume that failure to launch would distress nearly all empty nesters, but you'd be surprised by how many aging parents are not ready to move on to their next stage of life. They miss the feeling of having their family together all the time, and their child's independence gets in the way of holding on to that fantasy. 

Some parents want their adult kids to live at home for practical reasons. Maybe one of them has issues and needs their kids to help out during flare-ups. If they live in a high-cost-of-living area, they know their kids would really struggle to save any money if they had to spend half of their income on rent. These practical considerations should be kept in mind, and if living together benefits both the parents and their adult children, then they should go for it. But no adult child should be held hostage in their childhood home under any circumstances. It doesn't matter if their parents don't think they can support themselves. If a young person is eager and willing to go out on their own and live in less-than-ideal conditions for the trade-off of independence, their parents should encourage them to do so. They're going to learn a lot more from three years of living independently from their parents than they'd learn from pretending like they're still in high school. They might sacrifice some savings by choosing not to live at home, but it might be worth the peace of being responsible for yourself. 

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  • Young guy with dreadlocks in downtown LA
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The parents in this story should be thrilled that their 22-year-old son has found a job and is ready to move to the city to start his adult life. Instead, they're angry that he's not choosing to live at home to save money. He has lived at home for 22 years, and he's ready to spread his wings!

  • Am I the bad guy for wanting to move to the city instead of staying at home, even though my family thinks it’s selfish?

    1 (22M) just graduated and got a decent entry-level job that's based in a major city about an hour from my hometown.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • I can technically work hybrid, so my parents expect me to live at home and commute a few days a week to "save money and be responsible." The issue is I don't want to.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • I've lived at home my entire life and I feel like I'm stagnating. I want to live in the city, be closer to work, meet new people, and actually feel like an adult instead of a high schooler with a paycheck.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • Yes, it's more expensive. I've done the math. I can afford a small apartment with roommates and still save some money, just not as much as if I lived rent-free at home.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • My parents are furious. They say I'm being financially irresponsible, ungrateful, and "choosing vibes over common sense." My mom keeps saying I'm "throwing away a huge advantage" and my dad says people my age are obsessed with "city life" because of social media and ego.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • African descent man in a shoot
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They also argue that since I don't need to live in the city, choosing to do so is basically wasting money just to prove a point.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • I argue that independence, mental health, and not hating my life also matter, not everything is about maximizing savings.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • Now it's turned into this moral thing where they're acting like I'm rejecting my family or saying I'm too good for home, which isn't true.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • I just don't want to be 25 and still living in my childhood bedroom because it was "optimal." Some friends agree with me, others say I should suck it up for a couple years, stack cash, and stop being dramatic.
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • A small room with a bed and a desk
    via Eduardo Ramos (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So... AITA for choosing to live in the city instead of staying home, even if it costs more and my family strongly disapproves?
    via u/fjskahhdbf
  • CMeNaught I think the fact that your parents are freaking out and scolding you about the very normal desire to leave the nest, is a big indicator of why you feel it's urgent to leave the nest. If you can afford it, go be free. NTA.
    via u/CMeNaught
  • onemasterball NTA Your parents are having a hard time with you growing up, and may also be conflating love & control An hour commute is a huge quality of life downgrade, even just a few times a week You are giving up an opportunity for starting a nest egg, but that is your choice to make
    via u/onemasterball
  • Havenfall209 A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. NTA
    via u/Havenfall209
  • Illustrious-Shirt569 NTA. It sounds like you're making very responsible and thoughtful choices, for very valid reasons. Sometimes saving a few bucks right now isn't actually the best long-term choice, and you are never required to hold frugality as your highest value, even if it is something you do value.
    via u/Illustrious-Shirt569
  • Phalonnt You are at an age where you are becoming a truly independent adult. You dont have to listen to your parents anymore. Your only priority is yourself, you are 100% correct that you should be living independently if you are able and want to. I doesn't matter if it pisses your parents off, you are an adult! Edit: NTA!
    via u/Phalonnt
  • Ok-Complex5075 NTA. As long as you can afford to live on your own, this isn't a bad decision. You're an adult, so it doesn't matter how your parents feel about it.
    via u/Ok-Complex5075
  • Usual-Owl9395 Being a legal adult comes with the privilege of making up your own mind about where you want to live.
    via u/Usual-Owl9395
  • ReadMeDrMemory NTA. You're an adult. It's not surprising that you want independence, particularly given the way your parents second guess you and want to run your life. You sound pretty level-headed and it seems as if you've thought through this decision. Save money? This is what the money is for! Go live your life.
    via u/ReadMeDrMemory
  • ShipComprehensive543 NTA - at all-you are an adult wanting to live like one.
    via u/ShipComprehensive543
  • Actual-Hamster4692 If you stayed home, your parents would probably just start charging you rent to make it harder for you to save money and eventually leave. NTA
    via u/Actual-Hamster4692

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responsibility saving money job childhood city mental health hybrid home son parents
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